Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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