so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Randomize
