I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
