I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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