my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
