he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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