Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
