I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
