I am puke
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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