Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize