Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i just google imaged poop.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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