I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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