dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
