shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
