When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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