im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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