it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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