Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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