so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
