she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
