I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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