you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
