Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
someone owes me an orgasm
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
