My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
