i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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