is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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