I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
