i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
