Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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