This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
