exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Dicks are not precious.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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