never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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