Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
