i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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