her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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