I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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