Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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