I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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