Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize