She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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