i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
