yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
