I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
