I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
