she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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