Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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