I just made out with a guy for $7.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
