Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
