he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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