In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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