There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
