I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize