Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
