I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
