Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
tequila makes me forget i have legs
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
jump out the window naked night went bad
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
