is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
