no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
