If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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