You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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