Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
