its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize