we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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